Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Defeat and Dependence

God has been revealing defeat in me. I feel defeated, like I know nothing, know so little about marriage, relationships, parenting and God himself. And the theme of dependence on Him keeps coming up. The story of the Israelites is all about dependence on God right?

Read Joshua 1 and 2 today. I'm learning even tho I feel like I'm so empty, God is saying Be Strong and Courageous. Do not be Discouraged. For The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:7-9 NIV84)

Just like God was instructing Moses and now Joshua, as they were caring for the people, so He instructs me, as he has asked me to care for those he's placed in my life.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Telling Our Story

Today I was talking with one of my aunts. Her and her husband over the last year have been helpful, encouraging, hopeful. Today she said it was good that we are willing to tell friends, family what we are going through or dealing with. I said yes, but sometimes it's hard to be that open, especially when you face rejection from some people. She helped me see this more clearly, she said although the rejection is hard, to not blame them, dealing with something this heavy is hard for some especially when they have big issues of their own. (Whether they're dealing with them or not). That was so clarifying for me.
My youngest brother made a statement to us, about not judging those you face opposition from. So true, sometimes in defense the mind is so quick to blame, and judge, but God calls us to bless and empathy.

Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.
1 Peter 3:9

Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Yep, sickos everywhere u turn these days, cold bugs abound! Our family is immersed in it. What's also sick in another sense was this: Quinn went out with some close guy friends (which I'm super-stoked happy for him, he's done so little of that in the last year). So, the kids both went to bed with super ease, so I thought maybe I'd have a soak in the jacuzzi tub. Filled the tub up, climbed in, water covering the jets and this lovely concoction filled my water (see pic). Yes, I am in my tub with my phone now blogging about it. Gross, good news I get an uninterrupted shower and maybe I'll go do my homework after this. And maybe, I'll clean the jets (again) tomorrow. Jacuzzi tubs are way too much work for this young mama!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Luke 10:38-42
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42 NIV84)

The last while I've been convicted of my "Martha" moments. You see, I have ways I want to live but I don't always put them into practice. I like to wake up in the am, acknowledge to God that I have my family for another day, wake up rejoicing that I have my family another day. Some mornings I wake up going right into what I think needs to be done without acknowledging, that without God giving me breath I wouldn't have or be doing anything.
The other thing I need to schedule is God time, read the Word and pray, build the relationship so it's not so one-sided (God loves me regardless). I like to do it now when the kiddos nap in the afternoon. Now most days ill get maybe an hour when they're both sleeping, that could be prime time for getting things done.
Running around picking up this and that, dishwasher, dishes, laundry, clean floors, bathroom, dusting, tidy, tidy, tidy. I don't know how mothers with young children do fall and spring cleaning, that completely baffles me.

So some times I get caught up in my Martha moments of running around harried. On top of it, Martha Moments take away from my time with Quinn, to talk or just relax with him, and the time I should take to look just a little attractive (yes, I think it's important for marriage and should trump dusting :).

I guess I need to strongly note the conviction of Martha Moments is there on purpose. Sometimes I'm also reminded of life being short. If my child or husband is not here tomorrow, will it matter that I got the house tidied instead of being with them?

God wants my time, he longs for me. Sometimes i have that longing to be with people, socializing, I think I'm sometimes masking it for what could be much more fulfilling. Don't get me wrong, us emotional filled women need that at times.
Psalm 119:33-40
Teach me, O Lord, to follow your decrees;
then I will keep them to the end.
Give me understanding, and I will keep your law
and obey it with all my heart.
Direct me in the path of your commands,
for there I find delight.
Turn my heart toward your statutes
and not toward selfish gain.
Turn my eyes away from worthless things;
preserve my life according to your word.
Fulfill your promise to your servant,
so that you may be feared.
Take away the disgrace I dread,
for your laws are good.
How I long for your precepts!
Preserve my life in your righteousness.

Yummy mommy

About to take Caden to pre-school this morning, with about 10 minutes to spare, went to pick Grace up from her play mat and saw a poo disaster. I was wearing my white sweater, so after I picked her up and realized it, I whipped off my sweater.
After I was done cleaning her up in the shower and changed her, etc., put my sweater back on and marched off to school, late.
When I got home I took off my sweater and saw this...
The Bumbo picture is classic of the messes I've cleaned up in the last while, poo does not stay in this girls diaper very often.