Caden is 3 months old now. 3 month old babies should sleep 5-6 hours in a night and maybe still need one feeding a night (especially breastfed babies). Lately Caden has been getting up twice a night and sleeping no more than 3 hours consecutively. Soooo...
It's about this time in his life where the books suggest he should learn how to put himself to sleep. To go to sleep initially on their own and in the middle of the night when they wake up (minus one feeding). A good nighttime routine should be established. Then they say for the first few nights of this you will experience them crying alone in their crib, but you are to go re-tuck them every 5-7 minutes, tell them you love them and it's time for sleeping. Now...in the past when I've seen other Mom's do this routine, it drove me crazy, I didn't like watching it, I just wanted to go pick up the baby and hold them and crying would cease. I STILL want to do this with my baby, but I know in the end it doesn't help him. It's a little easier to go through because this is my baby and I know he is fed, dry and not teething (in no pain), he's just emotionally unhappy - I still find it a little difficult. The first night was especially difficult because I gave in after 30 minutes, then had to go through the whole process again after putting him in his crib a second time after trying to rock him to sleep. The first night the whole process lasted 2.5 hours because I gave in the first time...and I cried and prayed to God for help. This is the second night out of 3 that I've let him cry (sometimes less than crying, just unhappy noise - don't know how to explain). It's now been a half hour and I think he's sleeping. (Gonna wait up 5 more mins to be sure).
...he's not sleeping yet...ok...another trip to the crib...
My husband, thankfully, can sleep through crying...yes, that is a good thing, I need him to get a full nights sleep so he can work and provide without being a zombie. I feel no shame napping during the day to compensate for the nights and my husband encourages me to do so...I love him.
There is some light in Caden's room from the kitchen light I leave on, I wonder if he should have a permanent night light. I know I slept with one for years.
I hope this learning curve isn't too steep for either of us and we get through it soon. We've done so well the last 3 months (month 1 was a difficult at times), we have learned a lot from Caden and during the day he rarely cries beyond us figuring out what is bothering him. We have also learned what his different cries mean, we very rarely hear the pain cry...so the cry we hear in his crib is definitely not the pain cry, just the "little unhappy with the situation" cry.
OK, so he's quiet now...if he is actually sleeping, this process was under 1 hour...yay, it's bedtime for Mommy! Sleep well little baby, love you!!
4 comments:
I hope this goes well for you Lyla! I know it's hard, I always had a hard time letting them cry too, but in the end he should be sleeping better at night so it'll be worth it. Let us know how it goes. :)
Be tough Lyla! I know it's hard, we hear them cry and we're programed to want to fix them right away, but I think we do them a favor by teaching them to fall asleep on their own.
I was a huge advocate for the sleep training stuff. One of the things I did from birth was to not get up and get them as soon as they started to whimper. Give them a few minutes to make sure they're serious, and that they're really awake. Sometimes they're just moaning a bit and will fall back to sleep right away.
For sure go in an give him a little hug and calm him down every ten minutes or so - that way he knows you're there, he's just mad he's not getting his own way!
One more little hint: don't know if you're comfortable with this or not, but have you ever tried letting him sleep on his tummy? By the time mine were a few months old I switched them to tummy sleeping. They're quite a bit stronger by then and can lift their heads up no prob and I doubt they'd just drop their face down and suffocate. I always found that they'd tire themselves out and fall back asleep way faster, and they'd sleep longer in between waking. Just a thought.
Good luck! The transition is tough, but it's so worth it!
thanks ladies. Now I'm questioning if he is in another growth spurt. He already had one at the 12 week mark. So last night he was up again every 2 hours and I was so worried he was hungry I fed him each time he woke, but thankfully he went right back to sleeping after feeding. Yeah, I was thinking about tummy sleeping, he is really strong and from how he acts with tummy time during the day or even during feeding if his nose gets squished, he fixes it right away...i know he would be fine with sleeping on his tummy. I have done it on a couple of daytime naps and he does sleep longer.
I might go with his night time wakings for another couple nights in case it is growth spurts, but beyond a week, I'll start to question what he's up to ;)
keep you posted
Good luck! It's tough to know what to do, and we can all tell you what we did, but in the end you have to do what's best for you and your baby!
He's such a doll. I was thinking the other day that he's three months already. How time flies!
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